Strength, you possess more of it than you think!

"You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."


I really believe in this quotation.


We constantly doubt our abilities to cope and manage. We look into the future and panic so much that we forget just how amazingly well we are coping with the day we are currently living in. The present moment.


Only now that I'm old enough to have memories, to look back on experiences, am I able to say, 'Gosh if someone told me I had to live through that again, I couldn't." Why? Because we forget the strength that we have in that very moment to cope with the unexpected, even after we have experienced it. That strength only appears when it is needed, we have this really weird way of forgetting how strong we can be.


It's a bit like pain. When we suffer an injury, especially a severe one, we know at that time that the pain feels almost unbearable, however as time goes on, can we remember the exact feeling of how painful it actually was? Nope, most likely, we can't. Think about it, think of a time you were in a lot of pain, you can still say, "Oh my word it was agony", but can you remember the actual feeling of agony? Highly unlikely. For example, when I had my spinal surgery, I know even though I was on at least seven different pain killers, I was in absolute agony. I remember telling a nurse that I was going to die because there was no way a humans level of pain could manage the severity for any longer. Jump forward three and a half years and here I am today. I can tell you it was excruciating, but I cannot remember what it actually felt like. Yes, some strong drugs can interfere but I believe it's our brains protecting us from the memory as it was so excruciating.


This resembles our memory of our levels of strength. We easily forget the strength that we internally possess that only shows when we desperately need it.


Strength endurance and sport endurance are very similar. For both, the more you practice and test yourself, the more you push yourself, the higher your coping levels become. The more hurdles you jump over the larger the obstacles you can overcome in the future. But most importantly for both, you need to be motivated, pick yourself back up after you fall and as cliché as it sounds, believe in yourself.


It takes strength to be you, who you really are, to go where you want to go and achieve what you dream to achieve.


It all starts with a dream, an effort and by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, you will end up achieving the impossible.


Stop doubting your abilities, remember, we forget the strength that we actually possess!


Love, E :) x

The Power of Love..

I am currently snuggled up in my converted attic bedroom, watching 'The Polar Express' trying to recuperate from a nasty virus. Today, I'd like to dedicate this post to everyone out there who has experienced the feeling of love. There are so many various ways of this emotion being expressed, and so many forms, for example, a mother's love for her child, a boyfriend's love for his girlfriend, a dog's love for his owner, God's love for all of us, a grandfather's love for his granddaughter,  a husband's love for his wife, a sister's love for her younger brother, etc. I believe there is no greater gift than love. To be filled with the potential to let another person feel warm, safe, special, excited, worthy, and to show them that they are needed and belong. To know that everyday you wake up that day holds the potential of gaining the love of yesterday's stranger. And most importantly, imagining the possibilities that lay before you, the hearts out there who have not yet been touched by the brilliance of your existence. Think, there are people out there, getting on with their daily tasks, who wish you knew how much they love you.


To love without pain is a lie. It comes as a packaged deal. Love is wonderful and powerful, but anything so powerful has to contain the possibility of devastation. Just think, we allow ourselves to love others and sometimes to accept the love in return all the time knowing that our hearts are no longer in our control, we lay them on the table for everyone to look at and damage in anyway they wish, but we still let ourselves do this. Why? Because that is the power of love. The power of love makes us put their needs before our own. The power of love takes away a part of our control. The power of love runs parallel to the power of hate. Two emotions so strong that they link, cross and are siblings in the field of entwined feelings. It is normal to have hatred feeling for those we love, temporarily, and it is actually normal to love those we hate. This is why. Also, take unrequited love for example, the pain that surrounds this is unbearable, yet we can't stop ourselves from loving no matter how powerful the pain, love is addictive.


I am honoured that I am blessed with the capability to love others, for there is no greater gift, apart from maybe having the capability to be loved in return.


We make the mistake in confusing falling in love with lasting love, one is natural, one needs commitment, one may fade, the other, well, the clue is in the name.




So many serious global issues can be resolved by love, but we don't believe the idea, and as our faith dwindles so does the possibility. LOVE HAS THE POWER TO END WARS, LOVE HAS THE STRENGTH TO SAVE LIVES, LOVE IS THE EVERLASTING REASON TO GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING.


My love always, E x

No child should have to face their worst nightmare alone.

Hello guys,

I'm aware that this post may attract a few new readers so to all of those who have not read my blog before, a massive hello goes to you and welcome to my site!

Tonight is the night we all congregate to watch and support BBC Children In Need 2014. Every year we attempt to raise more money than was raised the previous year. We wait patiently to hear which artists will be performing, we wait patiently to see the special episodes of television shows uniquely produced for this event and we wait patiently to donate money to those children who so desperately need it.

As time goes on, a lot of emphasis is placed on the show itself and sometimes we lose sight of the importance of the donations and where they actually go to.

I have been working behind the scenes this past while communicating as much as I could with those who haven't had a fair deal in life. With those who are supported by Children In Need.

I have gathered personal stories for you all to read. Stories which are true, stories of the lives of these brave young fighters. Some of the charities mentioned and other organisations may not be funded by BBC Children In Need yet, however these are examples of the services necessary for supporting individuals and therefore need funding. These young people have struggled with some of the most difficult experiences anyone ever has to face. They want to support others, they continue to look at life with as much positivity as they can. And tonight, for you, they have shared their stories and they ask that you please pick up the phone and donate to BBC Children In Need 2014. You will now read about their reasons..

Terri's story -

"My names Terri, and I was admitted to a psychiatric unit in August 2013 until the end of December 2013 with depression, an addiction to self harm, a distorted vision of the world around me and suicidal thoughts. Without the help I received I wouldn't be here today. Donating money will help me and a lot of other adolescents in need get the help they deserve, such as a hospital bed in worst cases, to fund therapists and nurses and outside, you'd be helping fund therapists to help teenagers like me and possibly helping prevent them reaching as low a state as hospitalization. Without nurses and hospital I wouldn't be here today, but unfortunately they're cutting down on the beds in the only mental adolescent hospital we have in Northern Ireland but with your help, we can change that and give the help people deserve."

Danielle's story -

"My name is Danielle McGriskin, I'm 18 years old and I have a brain tumour and hydrocephalus, AKA Annie and Heidi. Soon after I was diagnosed in July 2011 I was devastated to find out how little cancer research funding is being spent on brain tumours, currently less than 2% in the UK. Please support Children In Need so that you help children and young people like me who have been affected by a cancer diagnosis. Take a read of my blog called, "Danielle's Journey" (daniellemcgriskin.blogspot.co.uk) to follow my journey living with Annie and Heidi. Thank you!"

Joanna's story -

"A lot of people aren't aware of just how many young people suffer from mental illnesses. Lets just say there are 20 children in a class. Did you know its likely that at least two of those kids suffer from some form of mental illness? (According to The Office for National Statistics Mental health in children and young people in Great Britain, 2005) I can tell you, that for what is supposed to be the most vital part of growing up, I have myself been one of those two children. From the ages of 12-16 I fought some hard battles, without any professional support. The main reason for the fact I did it practically alone is simply because I didn't feel there was anywhere for me to go. I was aware my school had a councillor who came in once a week, but I didn't so much as know how to go about getting counselling and I always doubted I was "Sick Enough."
Can I point out those statistics I mentioned before are from 2005, that's nine years ago, with technology developing and cyber-bullying becoming a bigger problem than it ever has before, I don't doubt these numbers are now outdated. This is why I support children in need, and you should do. Children in need grant money to a wide range of organisations, including those who support young people suffering from mental health issues. I don't want other young people going through what I have alone."

Lydia's story - 

"Having been a Type 1 diabetic for 7 years now (I'm 19 now), I can honestly say that living with the condition isn’t easy. According to the Equality Act 2010, you’re considered disabled if you suffer with a physical or mental impairment that negatively affects your day-to-day activities. Going by this definition, Diabetes can be viewed as a disability. However, it’s one that cannot be seen unless you count the bruises from daily insulin injections or the drunk-like behaviour typical of a hypoglycaemic attack (low blood sugar). There is no cure as yet but I am hopeful that current and future research will get us there. So in the meantime, we aim for good control which is precisely what I did not have until I took part in the CHOICE programme at the Royal Belfast Hospital for Sick Children. I learnt how to carb count and calculate the appropriate insulin dose after taking into account my meal and blood sugar level. In short, I learnt why I have to take regular readings and follow my doctors’ advice. As a result, I feel much more empowered and I’m more willing to take readings because I can use the figures rather than simply filling a diary for a Specialist to flick through.The reason for me going on about my story is to try to emphasize that growing up is difficult enough without adding a disability, bereavement or bullying in to the mix. This is why help, in any shape or form, can change a person’s life for the better and so any donation to Children In Need, whether big or small, is vitally important in making that help possible.In addition to my story, I was asked to mentor a young girl who is also diabetic and was just starting her first year at Hunterhouse College in 2009. If I’m being perfectly honest, I didn’t mentor much, if at all and in fact, over the years, I would go so far as to say she’s mentored me and I have the privilege of being able to call her my friend. She’s gone through so much and has actually come out stronger for it. So I’d just like to dedicate (can I even do this?) my little essay to a wonderful inspiration, Erin Loughran (assuming she actually decides to put this in)."

D's story -

"I was referred to Action for Children in 2012 due to anxiety, panic attacks, fear of social events and depression. I was given a mentor called carol. She visited my house twice a week where we would work on self-esteem, body image, set goals and she would also take me out for coffee or shopping. This was extremely helpful and I had a close bond with her and I actually enjoyed seeing her. It wasn't like the usual CAMHS appointments, it was informal and confidential. Unfortunately, Action for Children is a funded charity and did not have the funds to continue my visits. The charity is still working, but donations would be very helpful to others who need help with anxiety, depression, eating disorders or any other mental illness. I would do anything to have this back but unfortunately it is not possible. So please donate to BBC Children In Need, funding is vital."

Jordan's story -

"My name is Jordan Caldwell and I have been fighting anorexia for almost 6 years now. I have been hospitalised for over a year and also out of school for over a year aswell. I was in an ordinary ward for 2 months and then I had to go into a psychiatric hospital for just over 11 months. I had many of scares with doctors telling my family it was beyond them how I was still alive and functioning, it was thanks to God who kept me safe and functioning. I then took an caesura on my birthday and was lucky to be alive again. I have had a life changing experience an eventually started on the road to recovery this time last year. Since that I have done many different things to spread the word and help others. I have done radio interviews, newspaper articles, worked with fixers an was on UTV. Just few weeks ago I represented fixers at the red carpet in London. It was simply amazing an one of best days to date in my life. I have also been giving the chance to make a clip for primary schools through a friend who works in schools. I am also going to be a media volunteer for the charity BEAT. I'm a great believer in things happen for a reason and I feel I didn't get anorexia to hide away and not talk about it but to talk and try to help others. I am now the main focus point for anorexia in males in the UK. My life has changed dramatically over the past year. I have changed from being at deaths door for 5 years to now being the main person in the Uk for anorexia in males an doing many workshops an webinars to help others. I have now met many celebrities and they are amazed and touched by my story which is amazing. Mental health an eating disorders is now a huge part of our society. Not enough emphasis is placed on it. It's not just an eating problem but also a mental one. Eating is only 1/3 of the illness. This is why the organisation BEAT is a fantastic service. It gives individuals such as me the chance to share the story to others and to help them learn more to then go on and help other anorexics. This is why you should donate this year to BBC Children In Need as they fund BEAT.  They deserve recognition for the amazing service they provide and the chance they give recovering anorexics. Just think today of all those people who are affected or suffering from an eating disorder. You would want them to be strong and take that brave step to recovery. Well BEAT helps young people do this. So even if it is a little amount it will make a difference. So go on donate to BEAT. And from behalf of me an all those other anorexics who are helped or work along with BEAT we just want to say a huge thanks as with your donations you are helping us make a difference to try an help eating disorders. #beatanorexia!"


Carrie's story -


" Hi I'm Carrie, and I'm 18! I'm a young carer for my younger and only sister and have been ever since she was born when I was two years old.
Even from a young age I was always involved in my sisters care even though I didn't fully understand her illness until I was much older.
Having to care for her changed my whole life and they way I look at the world. It was and is extremely hard at times, my life was full, especially when my sister was younger and less stable, of hospital trips and staying with neighbours and trying to help someone that you can't quite understand how to help.
It's a very hard job that so many people do, it just, as any young carer will tell you, becomes a way of life and you never think that this isn't what "normal" kids and teenagers do, but you do it because you love and care for that person with all you heart and soul.
However, I feel more could be done to help and support people like me, I have only just started receiving help from a young carers service and so many carers don't even realise the services that are out there for them, I definitely didn't! If you are a young carer I'd urge you to look into support groups and services. It's a job that many underestimate but means a great deal to the special someone you're caring for. ~
BBC Children in Need is such a brilliant cause that helps so so many people.
Giving someone even as a little as a pound goes a long way.
So go on, be a hero for BBC Children in Need."


Jade's story -


"My name is Jade Ritchie, I'm 17 years old and have currently started on my road to recovery with anorexia and depression. In May 2013 my dad was rushed into hospital with what we thought was appendicitis. A few hours later he returned from theatre with draining tubes and many more machines attached to his body. We
Were then told after 2 weeks of seeing my daddy so Ill- that he has cancer and would be starting chemo soon after. My family were so confused and scared. The constant thought of how can this happen? He's too young? But he carried on.
In July 2013 I visited my family GP regularly as my family started to notice my weight loss. After one month I was then referred to the young people's centre in Belfast were I received counselling. In October 2014 age 16 my counsellor then referred me to Beechcroft mental health hospital were I started visiting the EDYS (eating disorder youth service) team were I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. I attended the clinic twice a week getting counselling, then my appointments became more regular. I didn't see myself as seriously underweight nor did I believe that I was so unhealthy my organs were showing signs off shutting down. How could I believe this when all I seen in the mirror was a fat, ugly waste of space that didn't deserve to live? As my counselling went on I thought it was time I told my family how I felt. Since I can remember I was always the 'big' one out of my friends, the 'tomboy' who was a 'tank'. I hated myself in every way already without the constant reminder everyday that I was fat and ugly.
When I was 14, attending an all girls secondary school i knew myself I needed to change. I cut out food, hid food from my family and friends and carried on reminding everyone that I was okay. Laughing and joking when deep down all I wanted was to die. Being 11 and a half stone and dropping to 6 in less than a year. On the 3rd of January 2014 I was admitted to Beechcroft mental health hospital as an inpatient as I was seriously underweight, self harming and had constant thoughts of life not being worth living. I spent 6 and a half months in ward 1 being re-fed and counselled for depression.
While in hospital I got bad news, that my daddy's cancer wasn't curable and they were giving him time. My mind was going crazy but I needed to be here for my family. I reminded myself off this everyday.
On the 16th of June 2014 I was discharged from hospital. I got back home and realised how much my family needed me here.
Without the help of many charities me, and my family wouldn't be where we are today. Dads still fighting to the end and I'm currently struggling but enjoying my time I have left with him. All I can do is stay strong. So please, tonight, pick up your phone and donate to BBC Children In Need 2014. Myself and so many others need your funding. Thank-you."


Special words from ~

Tara Mills BBC Broadcaster -

 "I've seen at first hand the amazing work by Children In Need. So many children don't get a good start and intervention - even something small - can make a huge difference to their lives." 

Mister Sanders,  London hiphop producer and rap artist - 

"I think people should donate to a good cause for under priviliged children who haven't had a fair deal to allow us to create opportunities for them so they can aspire to be something in life. There needs to be ways for them to understand that no matter where you come from you can be someone."


And finally I would like to say that BBC Children In Need funds so many charities and organisations close to my heart, from diabetes related charities, to mental health foundations, and I am currently working with MACS supporting young people charity, this is funded by Children In Need. I promise you, your donations make such a huge difference to young people's lives all across the land.


We will ensure that no child has to face their worst nightmare alone.

Tonight you have the opportunity to be a hero.


Don't miss it.


Thank-you.

Visit the following website which tells you how you can donate.. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/22w0vNWLPftNlYjwPtclpDw/donate 


Erin x

You are not defined by how many likes you get on your pictures!

Hey,


So tonight I'm going to talk about something that is rather personal to me and I'm sure a lot of you too. Body image.


When I hear these two words so many horrible thoughts go through my head, negative thoughts about myself. It's a hard topic to speak about without seeming attention seeking, I completely get that, it's hard to listen to someone say this stuff and not think ugh they want attention or someone to pay them compliments and to be honest I'd probably think that, or well I would have, but not now as much.


One part of my battle is that with self esteem and poor body image. People probably think oh you post loads of selfies and outfits so clearly you don't have issues with that, again I totally get how that looks. Personally, I don't feel I have to prove myself to anyone anymore, so I'm comfortable doing these things. I post pictures whenever I'm wearing make-up and usually have a filter on them. I DO NOT ADVOCATE THE NEED TO WEAR MAKEUP BECAUSE GIRLS/BOYS YOU REALLY DO NOT NEED IT NOR DO YOU NEED TO EDIT YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS. I do it only because it's something I really struggle with and at present need to do so.


I struggle looking in mirrors, I struggle seeing what looks back at me. I don't want to say everything I dislike about how I look because that's just going to end in a flippin' self loathing negative swirl of comments and I can't be bothered with that haha! But just putting it out there for others, especially those who are younger and tend to copy those who are a bit older.


Girls, (and boys if this relates to you), you do not need to feel worthless if you don't get as many likes on your pictures. Your worth is not destined on how many instagram/facebook likes you get. If you don't have bleached blonde hair, or the most up to date GHD straighteners,  wear white chunk heels, fake tan, belly bandeau tops, have "on point" eyebrows and know how to perfectly pose in a supposedly innocent way, I salute you. If you do these things I have nothing against you, if it makes you feel happy and you love that style then go for it! I'm just generalizing this as I know so many people feel worthless because they aren't "one of those girls".


I promise you, if you wish to have pale skin. If you wish to wear vintage style. If you prefer covering yourself up. If you just cannot hack the pain of walking in heels. If you really don't want a camera in your face pouting for selfies all the time. If you would rather read a classic novel as opposed to a magazine. If you follow the Bible closer than the recent style trends. If you have no idea who Cara Delevingne actually is. If you haven't got a leather jacket, an iPhone .. in white obviously... a choker necklace, a massive bow for your hair. If you don't get over 20 likes on a picture you post on social media, if people don't comment about omw they wish they were you. If you are that person sitting at home in tears wishing that you were loved, that people noticed, that society would WAKE UP and for the love of pete realise the important things in this world!! You are amazing. You don't fit into the uniform of society's pressure? GO YOU! You want to never dye your hair well that saves money doesn't it! You study, you work hard, you maybe hate all forms of intellect and prefer manual work! YOU ARE SPECIAL. You do not in any way shape or form need to try and fit in with this trend. You are amazing as you are. It sounds so cliché but if I could maybe just make one reader realise that when an interviewer asks you in a few years what your qualities are, saying I have 300 likes on my profile picture ain't going to get you that job. Trying to desperately not let your looks fade by spending more money on make up than your child's clothes in years to come is not going to raise your family. Imagine your daughter was looking at you now, feeling that unless she spends money in topshop she isn't worthy of her place on this beautiful, challenging world. Just imagine that.


Please, I ask of you, be proud to be different. You are not defined by popularity. I am not the prettiest girl who has lived nor am I a genius, a lot of people dislike my style, I don't get hundreds of likes on my pictures on facebook, but does that make me any less of a person? Will that make me happier? No. I live my life doing what I feel is best for me, and not copying society's constant trend change.


You are you and my goodness you are amazing. If you love yourself or hate yourself, if you are extremely popular or if you go unnoticed in the corridors most days, just realise you are you and there isn't another person on this earth who could be you as well you can!


#TrueBeautyIsNotWornItIsContained


Love E x

I'M BACK!!

Ahh hello lovelies! :D


I am back, I sincerely apologise for not posting for quite a while! A lot has happened over the past week!


I have moved into my new house and I love love love my new bedroom, it is a converted attack and is basically my dream come true! I have only just got wifi back so I thought what should I do first and ahh of course I decided to blog!! After we get a few things done I will be decorating my room and I have lots of quirky ideas so that's really exciting!


IT WAS HALLOWEEN YESTERDAY AND I WENT TRICK OR TREATING FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I WAS LIKE 5!! I did not have an organised outfit but last minute I worked with what I had and turned out being a dead fairy.. interestinggg haha! I will have pictures up soon on my facebook/instagram for you guys to see! There was an event on called 'Twilight night by fairy light' at my local park and the tickets were sold out so my friend and I hiked from my house down to it in the BUCKETING rain, all dressed up and the security guard gave us wristbands for free and they were VIP! We had an amazing night, there was food, lantern walks, live irish music and the best firework show ever! (Although one of the fireworks went into the audience by accident and it was rather scary)!


I have soo many ideas for upcoming blogs so please keep an eye out and get involved!


Much love, E x