Don't let your struggles define you!

Hey guys,


Today hasn't been a good day for me, but I guess that's part of recovery, right? It has it's up days and it's down days and today is definitely a down day for me.


I started my new medication and I have had really horrible side affects, I was up most of last night shaking so much and I woke up with hallucinations, I have felt extremely nauseous and motion sick all day. My mood has really dropped and I have slept most of today and haven't managed to get out of my onesie. My intensive treatment team workers came out to see me but I didn't go out with them today.


I know my mood has dropped as a side affect of the meds but it is still really hard to deal with. It is very hard to see your peers getting out and about and having fun when that's all you want but can't manage to do it, it is really hard trying to keep your head above water when you don't feel like you fit in.


I am dealing with the intrusive thoughts and I am still fighting away at this wee mucker of depression and urges but some days I just have to accept the fact that these feelings are there. Sometimes that's all we can do and all we need to do.


Yeah I feel kind of useless and detached from the world today, yeah the point seems invisible. I feel invisible, but I've got to keep fighting, there is more to life than this, today is just a hard day, another page in my book, but it doesn't define me.


Don't let your struggles define you.


All my love, E x